The Hammer In My Head Won't Stop

Last night the dreams began, I vaguely remember last time. No nightmares or anything yet (I know they are to come) but strange dreams.

I can’t remember that much of them, I remember being on holiday with my partner and for some reason the Managing Director of Nando’s chicken was there. We were stuck down a very deep hole and trying to climb out, my fingers were bleeding with attempting to climb, I do not know if I made it or not, I remember a big explosion at some point in the dream and sadly not much more.

It was a disturbed night, not much sleep, tossing and turning and it seemed every time I got comfortable our cat would jump onto the bed or move position and disturbed again.

Today is hard, people don’t understand unless they have been through it themselves, today I itch, underneath my skin, I feel it mostly in my arms at the moment a kind of crawling itch and my head, my bloody head won’t stop pounding, it feels clouded and muddled, I feel all unsettled and uneasy. Sitting still doesn’t help; I want to be doing something I need some focus on my day. If I can focus on one thing, just something then maybe I can get through the day and stop my head from feeling like this.

It just keeps on going, thump thump thump.............