Monday Morning

I am going to start this being honest. If not then I feel there is no real point to the exercise.

I have always enjoyed a drink, same as everyone else, I enjoy that feeling as few drinks settle inside you. That warmth as it creeps through your body, that feeling of slight detachment as things maybe all of a sudden aren’t priority at that point in time.

That feeling of becoming more, feeling more, enjoying more, maybe even being more.

I enjoy all of this and much much more, far too much and far too often.

I know it is not healthy, I know it is no good, but I drink to excess and almost every single night. The last time I have a meaningful ‘dry spell’ was summer 2009 where I had a 10 day detox, prior to that and since that date, I have not gone more than 48 hours without being drunk.

My brother always joked that I don’t have an “off switch” once I start something I carry on and on and on till it becomes excessive. I think he was right.

I don’t always see it as a problem, it causes no issues with my job – in some respects I am lucky as I can set my own work times and therefore start late if need be, although it causes no problems with my job, I think at times I am working on auto pilot and could achieve a lot more.

My current drinking is on average 1.5 – 2 bottles of wine a night and this is a quiet night, if going out it can be a whole lot more.

Even when waking up with the worst hangover, most evenings I can start again as it eases any pains from the night before. Last week I got so drunk on the Thursday night that I have forgotten almost the whole evening, was extremely ill the next day (to the point where I couldn’t work for the first time ever) but even with all that and how ill I was come the Saturday evening I started again – wrong I know.

Many a weekend I have thought that this is the last one and come Monday I will change my life style, I have tried many time before and lasted no more than 2 days. I know how hard it is when every aspect of your life is combined with wine.

This time...